Disclaimer: this episode contains opinions that are mine and may be offensive to others. While I do not care if a topic or opinion offends you (see here), I want to extend the courtesy of letting you know this may trigger you if you're afraid of hearing strong ideas about fitness, motivation, and complacency.
Before I got married, I made a commitment to fitness. It was actually a perfect time to do it. I started at the new year and ended half way through May when Jami and I went to Italy to get hitched. I cut 27 pounds, lots of inches, and body fat. It was awesome.
When we returned, she got back on track (she's a fitness trainer / instructor / coach), and I did... sort of. I kept working out, but I wasn't really paying attention to my diet anymore, and my work (desk job at a computer) caused my posture to ruin my range of motion with forward shoulders and all that goes with it. Fast forward a couple of years, and shoulder impingement causes me too much pain to work out. So I stopped.
That was about 2 years ago. Sure, I'd run a bit and bike for 30 minutes on Thursdays, but it was just enough not to feel bad. Then my pants stopped fitting well. I found my custom made-to-measure shirts were too tight to button. I realized I have a full spare tire in the middle.
I continued to make excuses and justify that I was not fit, but I was working hard and making great money, so my value was not to be questioned. How many guys out there share this sentiment? The one thing I did start doing in the last few months was shoulder rehab and posture exercises. HUGE improvement. I wasn't ready to really jump back into the gym though.
Then a fitness friend of mine posted a meme online. Suddenly, my comfort zone became uncomfortable.
In this episode, I'm going to explain why your comfort zone is making you fat, why it made me fat, and how "fat" doesn't have to mean physical appearance - It's bigger than that. Prepare yourselves. Take a listen and let me know what you think in the comments below.
I know I've touched on the role and importance of happiness before, but this time I'm kicking it up a notch with science to explore the truth about happiness. Not to be confused with it's apathetic cousin, contentment, happiness is about finding joy in the everyday, and letting it permeate into the tasks, trials, and takeaways of your everyday life.
On this episode, I'm joined by Jim McCarthy. He's a TEDx speaker and # 1 bestselling author of Live Each Day: A Surprisingly Simple Guide to Happiness. He teaches people how to create their happiness by blending mindfulness techniques and timeless wisdom with simple, science-based practices. Jim is recognized for his unique perspective as a Stanford MBA, internet pioneer, and person living with a cancer diagnosis.
He has presented his innovative and acclaimed “Happiness Keynote” to organizations of all sizes across the U.S. and internationally. Audiences take away practical strategies, evidence-based insights, and daily action plans — because happiness is a skill you can develop.
This episode covers the truth about happiness and simple math you can't ignore. Once we open your mind to the 1%, you'll never be the same. No excuses. It's a big deal. Take a listen and let me know what you think in the comments below.
The real estate market these days seems like a combination of fire and ice. As still as that sounds, some buyers and sellers are experiencing properties and transactions that are red hot deals, while others are getting iced with poor maintenance, missed opportunities, and bad decisions.
So what does one look for when buying or selling a home? More importantly, what do you look for when buying or selling your first home? It seems like such an easy thing when you see if on television, and "anybody can make millions" when pitched to you at a seminar, but what should you know and do walking into a sale?
In this episode, I'm joined by my good friend Stacy Massar of Massar Group Realty here in DFW, and she's going to help shed some light on what you need to watch out for when buying, selling, or qualifying for a home. She'll also let you in on some insider information about new construction and possible pitfalls to avoid. Take a listen and let me know what you think in the comments below.
In the last year, opportunity has shown up in a bunch of different spaces in my life. From relationships, friendships, travel, technology, and especially business ventures, it feels like opportunities are everywhere and I'd have to actively work to avoid them. It's a good feeling. But it's not like I didn't do some adjusting to get here. This is a combination of focus and preparation.
Speaking with a friend of mine, I heard the tell tale sign of someone blind to opportunities:
"I wish I was as lucky as you are. You're surrounded by opportunities, and I don't have anything coming my way."
This opened the door to what it really means to recognize opportunities everywhere. It feels like a lot of people only recognize the best of the best when they land on their laps unannounced. Everything beyond that is either discounted for not being a good option –not worth pursuing– or it's just plain missed.
There are three factors that influence the opportunities around you:
On this episode, I'm going to give you a few reasons why you might be the only thing holding yourself back (as cliché as that sounds), what steps you can take to gain clarity and recognize opportunities around you, and why your perspective on luck has everything to do with both. This is more than just opening up your eyes – it's about the damn story in your head. Take a listen and let me know what you think in the comments below. [Subscribe Here]
When you're setting yourself up for success, you're probably aware (of have heard repeatedly) that the people you surround yourself with everyday have a direct impact on your trajectory. The right people can help you feel powerful, tackle problems with critical thinking, and help you view the world from a perspective that enables you to be and do your absolute best.
What you probably didn't think about, however, is the impact your personal physical space also has on your success trajectory. Trying to feel like a boss, ready to go out and conquer your goals can prove difficult if your home or apartment feels drab or immature. Sure, poor living conditions make for great motivators in movies, but let's be honest – for the average man, rising above is not actually a skill many possess. We want to feel powerful and we want certain material things to help us with that.
So how do you upgrade your bachelor pad or living space so it's more inline with the man you're meant to be? In this episode, I'm joined by Misty Maxey of Misty Maxey Designs. She's The bachelor pad designer and she has some great insights and advice on how you can upgrade your space while still being true to who you are. Not all interior designers want a million throw pillows and weird things on the wall. Misty is here to give you easy and actionable advice and 5 ways you can upgrade your bachelor pad (or married pad, or office space, or wherever really).
Man, that title just hits you in the face, doesn't it? It is unapologetically raw and maybe even rude. Hell, some people might even say it's offensive to be so crass. This is such a perfect topic to talk about – especially in today's divisive and politically charged, social-media fueled, attention seeking society.
Nobody cares if you're offended.
Let's explore this with some context. If you've ever been on the internet (well, beyond this site), you may have had the unfortunate experience of wandering into the comment section on a news article. Be advised – don't wander into any comment section like this. Ever. They have nothing of value to add. Save yourself.
In this episode, we're going to hit some of you with the hard truth that your opinion doesn't matter. You might get your feelings hurt, but it's for your own good. Let's talk about why nobody cares if you're offended, and what you can do about it.
Did you know one of the most often searched terms is “how to find balance as an entrepreneur and family man” on Google? Why is that? Well, it’s probably because having a work life balance as an entrepreneur is hard as hell.
While many people may look at successful entrepreneurs and feel they “have it together” based on their viewpoint, sometimes that’s the furthest thing from the truth. As an entrepreneur, priorities and schedules, and investments and expenses are different than others’ that work in Corporate America. The idea that the struggle is real is more than just a clever meme.
Today’s episode is a special one because I’m joined by my good friend Kostas Lazanas, a restaurant owner, a husband, a father, a community member, and a man who’s done more before turning 30 than so many of us. We’re talking about finding balance between work and home and events and vacations and, more importantly, what keeps you from losing your mind through it all.
There are so many messages of manliness out there in the world these days, all vying for more and more of your attention, but which ones are true? Which messages are good for you, and which are good for everyone?
There's a big difference there. Some influencers will have men believe that the world is getting softer and that men need to focus more on being manly, growing beards, and getting tough. Some are focused on being the best version of yourself so you can have a more authentic impact on the world around you.
My personal perspective is that the world is becoming more WIIFM every day. WIIFM, if you're not familiar is "What's In It For Me" – and it's killing the vibe in everything. We are demolishing nature so we can be rich. We're poisoning our bodies so we can be thinner. We're naming our kids absolutely asinine things because we think it's cool.
We don't help our fellow man unless there's some upside to it for us, but we all get the "feels" when we watch an inspirational clip on Facebook about someone helping out someone else. We don't treat each other with respect or even courtesy anymore unless there's something in it for us. So what's the deal? What's the state of today's man?
To answer that question, I've had other guests on the show, and I've been talking to guys all over the country to discover a little more of their perspective. Today, however, I have a treat.
In this episode, I'm joined by Rob Kandell, speaker, author, coach, and innovator in communication. Rob has been helping men find themselves for sixteen years. An expert in interpersonal communication and relationships, he has helped thousands of students find a more balanced, energized life with better relationships, more sex (he's the co-founder of OneTaste, a practice or Orgasmic Meditation), and more happiness.
He is the host of the highly successful podcast, Tuff Love, and the author of the upcoming book, unHIDDEN, A Book for Men and Those Confused by Them.
We're talking about the state of today's man. What does he have going for him? What is he up against? What can he do to improve without being seen as less of a man?
Often, it's not what you're doing wrong that counts, it's what's you're doing right. Rob and I dig into what that is and come out on the other side. Take a listen and let me know what you think in the comments below. [Subscribe Here]
Sometimes the hustle can bring great success and confidence, and other times the hustle brings exhaustion, despair, and defeat. So what's the catch with hustle?
In this episode of the podcast, we're exploring the tale of two entrepreneurs and the differences between a hustle that works and a hustle that hurts. No, it may not cause physical harm, but a hustle that doesn't work is every bit as exhausting and fruitless as trying to ride a bicycle through wet cement.
Let's fix that and get you on your way. You do NOT need to grind in order to be successful. You just need to recalibrate your hustle. Take a listen and let me know what you think in the comments below.
I recently had a conversation with a client of mine regarding what he truly wants. He had so many things to say about what he wanted. And, he had even more to say about why it's too hard or impossible to make happen. There are all these "reasons" for how it just can't be done, or it's too scary, or what will happen if it doesn't work out – and every last one of them is made up.
In too many cases, we are seeking permission to take the leap and go for it. We're looking for the validation that our decisions are good ones, and we should pursue them. For this client, he needed someone he respected to tell him that what he truly wanted was worthy and give him permission to go out and get it.
But more importantly, he needed someone to get him to cross a line. He needed a push to be bold and decide.
We're all dealing with a myriad of lines we're afraid to cross. Taking the big leap of faith to start your new business venture, or having the courage to make that pretty girl your wife, or investing in yourself after years of investing in everyone else – these are lines we've drawn and need help, encouragement, and a good push to cross.
In today’s episode, we'll explore the power and pitfalls of crossing lines. We're also going to jump into the debate of whether it's better to beg for forgiveness or ask for permission. In some cases, one is a slippery slope to disaster. In others, it is the only way to go.
Gentlemen, having a crap credit score is not only an ungentlemanly thing to have, but it's also completely fixable. There are resources, tricks, and actions you can take to completely change your score, so today, we're going over the definitive guide to improving your credit score, and keeping it that way.
The first thing to understand about credit health and your score, is that it isn't something that mysteriously appeared at no fault of your own doing. It takes a while to ruin credit, and it subsequently takes a while to bring it back into the high numbers.
Well, usually if you do it yourself. If you have a team of credit experts to help, you can make ridiculously significant improvements in just a couple of months. More on that in a minute.
Whether you're looking to raise your score to make a big purchase (home, car, boat, etc.), or you've seen the power of good credit in other people's purchases and you want it for yourself, your biggest obstacle may not be what you think.
In today's episode, I'll share my credit catastrophe, explain the basics of credit, the laws that are actually on YOUR side, and the secrets to getting your scores, your reports, and your life on a whole new level. This is, after all, the definitive guide to improving your credit score and keeping it that way. At the end, I have a special deal for you that might just be the jump-start you need to finally get your credit cleaned up and corrected.
My wife and I are a good example of opposites attracting. I'm a hopeless romantic and she's much more practical. I'll plan grand gestures of romance, cloaked in secrecy for surprise, and deliver a symphony of Kodak moments we'll cherish forever. It's all orchestrated for my own satisfaction. I do it because it's fun for me. Yes, of course, she enjoys the romance, but grand gestures aren't really that important to her. So I do it for me.
This exact truth got me thinking about all of you guys.
Do you know what your significant other wants? I mean, truly wants... Not what kind of jewelry she wants, or whether chocolate is better than flowers. No, I'm talking about what makes her feel the most appreciated, most valued, most heard, most loved – her love language.
Look, you can keep up the charade and buy flowers and chocolates for Valentine's day, or you can hear me out and take your relationship to another level. This episode is dedicated to deepening your relationship by exploring her love language, your love language, and the ridiculously powerful impact it will have in your life.
Ready to step up your love game? Take a listen and let me know what you think in the comments below. [Subscribe Here]
In this episode, we're exploring the relationships that are affected when you become a man of your own. It is an episode for sons, and daughter-in-laws, and even my own parents and in-laws.
There’s a space for guys to recognize the auxiliary players in their transition from boys to men. We forget that the world doesn’t revolve around us. We forget there are those that came before us, and we forgo wisdom for independence all too often.
One of the things that we all strive to be is dependable as men. We want to be strong providers and trusted unconditionally. We want to be honorable men, even if many of us aren't exactly sure what that means.
We like, and often romanticize the Gentleman's Agreement. When we are told something is going to happen, we want to believe it. We like the idea that "he's a man of his word," and "he's a good man, he'll come through."
You want to be "a man of your word," but how do you get there? What makes one a man of his word and how do you become a dependable man of your word? In this episode of the podcast, we're exploring commitments, choices, and an amazing concept of being and doing "because I said I would."
When I want to have the best year ever, I look at this quote. This is one of my favorite quotes because it keeps me focused on what I'm committing to when I procrastinate. Every time I say no to getting up and getting out there, I'm saying yes to missed opportunities; yes to broken promises to myself; yes to feeling overwhelmed later when I feel like I haven't gotten anything done; yes to excuses – the list goes on. When I say yes to those things, I'm also saying no to success; no to opportunity; no to connections; and no to myself.
In a year from now, you bet your ass I will wish I had started today.
Throughout my years coaching clients all over the world, the one constant among them is the dreaded new year's resolution. It's something we all seem to make and more often than not, all seem to bomb. What typically stands in the way of committing to it an following through is a lack of clarity. Sure, you may know what you want to be, do, or have in the new year, but are you also aware of the habits you need to create to make it happen? Do you know what you need to leave behind to move forward successfully?
In this episode, I'll introduce you to 10 questions to help you "complete" this year, and prepare you for the new one. I'll guide you through each step, and you'll come out on the other side with a better idea of what you really can really do to have the best year ever.
Temptation is everywhere, gentlemen. You can be driving to the gym, ready to hit it hard, and find yourself in the Dunkin' Donuts drive thru a moment later... if you give into the temptation. Integrity through distractions, right?
Distractions are even more prevalent. Distractions are temptations disguised as noise. You may not feel that temptation is the right word, but when you see the Facebook notifications on your phone, it's difficult to resist the temptation to pause what you're doing and check them, right?
On a bigger level, having the discipline to stay focused through distractions is what so many men struggle with - especially young men. Guys in their early 20s are developing their goals and aspirations for life, while also discovering what their integrity is all about.
I was recently asked by a younger gentleman about managing the expectations of others while trying to stay responsible, accountable, and keep his integrity. In this episode, we're going to talk about integrity, responsibility, and what you can do to stay focused while surrounded by distractions.
THIS EPISODE HAS CURSE WORDS.
I went to an event yesterday and heard Tony Robbins speak. One of the exercises he had us do was to meditate on a moment we are forever grateful for, and I thought of the time my dad visited me and Jami in Texas, and I taught him how to tie a bow tie.
Coincidentally, we just passed the anniversary of his death, and a young man for whom I am a mentor just lost his father to the same deadly, unexpected heart attack. He is processing, and I am helping any way I can. I thought it was a good time to revisit this story and tell it on an episode so you can hear the impact.
Losing someone close to you is an incredible pain. But losing a parent is worse. I can't even imagine what it must feel like losing a child. This is my story of losing my dad. I hope that it helps you as just rereading it has helped me
For many of us, happiness and contentment are synonymous. We reach a moderate level of success, while secretly wishing we could do (fill-in the blank). Most of the time, that one thing we wish were doing professionally –instead of what we're currently doing– is in a completely unrelated field. It is our fear of switching gears and venturing out into the unknown that keeps us in our safe place –our regular job, regular pay, regular, predictable life.
Until one day, someone enters our social circle and is doing exactly the thing we secretly wish we were doing. This moment, for men all over the world, is a catalyst to creation. In an instant, ego dances with doubt, ideas break bread with creativity, and pride tells us we can do better than this guy, while our saboteur tries to talk us out of it.
This moment is paramount to success and fulfillment for many of us. We need someone to show up and burst our bubble. We need a competitor to challenge us. We need to see that we're actually a rather small fish, and this pond is bigger than we thought.
This doesn't have to be about a career or professional position either. It happens in fitness levels all the time. You were the fittest, most bad-ass of your group of friends... that was until the new guy showed up with muscles a little bigger than yours, and a six pack that makes you look like a fatty.
You have to step up. You can do better. You know it.
In this episode, we're exploring the reasons why you need challengers in your life. Whether it's for personal or professional fulfillment, you need someone (or multiple people) to burst your bubble and make you take action.
In today's modern society of what I like to call Throwaway Ideals, it can be difficult to see yourself finishing anything all the way. Most of us are too easily conditioned to cut and run when the going gets tough because there's opportunity and alternatives abound. We start a lot of projects, chase a lot of ideas, and break ground on new endeavors... but we rush through the motions so quickly that we often miss details, and cause things to derail.
More importantly, when things derail we jump ship and start something new. It's like building a wooden boat. We begin applying the wooden slats to the hull, nailing them into the frame, and increasing our pace. We get excited at the prospect of soon sailing our new boat, that we begin cutting corners, skipping nails, and forgetting small details.
Some of us will quit building about halfway through because a step we missed (skipped) in the beginning, needs to be completed, which means we have to backtrack and start over. No good. The others that get the boat in the water immediately notice the skipped steps when she starts to take on water. The effort to rescue and rebuild can seem too much, so we let her sink and start a new project.
“What’s a gentleman like you doing in a place like this?”
Las Vegas is dubbed as “Sin City,” and with good reason, as it offers just about every kind of earthly delight under the sun. As such, it might seem a contradiction to recommend this place to bona fide gentlemen. Nonetheless, there are actually a lot of activities that gents can try out, without succumbing to a truly hedonistic lifestyle, and burning a hole through their wallet. In this article and episode, we'll explore where to eat, where to stay, what to wear, and where to play.
There is often a misconception when it comes to bringing alcohol to different social gatherings. What’s the best drink to bring to a party? Should bring anything at all? Beer or wine? Both? Food as well? It’s all a lot to keep balanced!
You definitely want to bring a gift to the host of whatever social gathering you’re attending, and this episode will detail what gift AND what else you want to do when you attend!
The world is an interesting place – one full of opportunities and adventures, yet also riddled with terrible decisions, fear, doubt, and distractions that keep us from becoming the best men we can be. Sometimes it takes a hard truth to snap us out of our funk and get us back on track. These hard truths can be difficult to digest, but necessary to keep you from wearing those jeans you cut into shorts. Seriously, throw those things away.
The impetus for a hard truth is never born from malice; rather, it's delivered to guide you back toward your goal of being the best version of yourself. If someone is spouting off hard truths at you and it feels like he's being a dick, he probably is. If, however, he's telling you things you don't want to hear but you're inspired by it, congratulations! You just received a heaping scoop of hard truth.
This episode is a scoop of tough love. Take it and enjoy.
Breaking up is hard to do. At the same time, staying in a relationship that doesn't serve either party is also hard to do. Unfortunately, we are willing to do more of the latter that we are of the former, and that's a disservice to ourselves and each other. Look, it sucks to break up, but it also sucks to be in an unhappy relationship.
A fair amount of my clients (and emails I receive) ask what they should do to exit their unfulfilling relationships. They've read other posts and episodes about listening and building better partnerships with their significant other, but the issues aren't meant to be improved – they're signs the relationship isn't meant to continue any longer.
When you get that gut feeling that, "oh man, this is over –we have to break up," there are a few things you must do in order to keep a level head and move forward. This episode is a double whammy because I'm discussing the signs you know the relationship is over, and what you need to do next to get you through it.
We've all heard, in some form or another, the old adage that "you have to hit rock bottom before you can truly change." In the case of my friend Jan, his rock bottom was a nervous breakdown due to the compounding stress of being an employee, a student, and a man in his 20s trying to figure things out.
It turns out, some men aren't built to be employees, while others aren't built to be entrepreneurs. When you're the latter, you see the risks, the uncertainty, and the stress as too much to handle and you'd rather work and build your future under a company's umbrella. When you're the former, you see all those risks, uncertainty, and stress as a welcome opportunity to build something YOU can control. Being at the mercy of a corporation is too risky for the entrepreneur, while being at the mercy of your own limiting beliefs and fears, is too risky for the employee.
In this episode of The Sharp Gentleman Podcast, I'm joined by my friend Jan Koch, founder and creative mind behind Little Oak, a company of exquisite wooden watches, and we're discussing what it's like building a business after a breakdown. There's an ugly side to being an entrepreneur at heart, and sometimes it rears its head at the least opportune time.
Look, we all want a way to make more while doing less, right? Passive income is the vehicle to allow that, BUT –and this is a big one– they aren't going to make you rich overnight, and they all come with their own shortcomings. In this episode (and article), I'm going to cover the 5 main channels for passive income and what you need to know going in.
I'm also going to share what I've done and what I currently do to make passive revenue each month. It goes without saying (even though I'm saying it now) that some of the links here are affiliate links and I will make a small amount of commission should you choose to use them and purchase something. We're pulling back the curtain, right? Let's do this.
Take a listen and let me know what you think in the comments below. [Subscribe Here]