Why would you want to know how to fight with your spouse? Because it's a natural part of building a healthy, long-lasting relationship. Marriage in America has become something of a joke. Well, not really a joke – more of a statistical mess. Approximately half of all marriages in the US end in divorce. Clearly, we take commitment very seriously.
There are many reasons marriages end, including:
As a relationship coach, I notice communication between people a lot more critically than most. I listen to the words, the tone, and the body language couples use when speaking and/or arguing, and there are several tell-tale signs that a relationship is doomed. Rather than bring you down with all the reasons marriages fail, let's explore how to fight with your spouse without ruining your marriage.
Public Speaking for the Anxious Guy with Julian Placino
The Pathways to Success Podcast is a weekly a show where Julian interviews leaders on business, personal development, health & fitness and many other topics designed to help you find your unique Pathway to Success.
Although there are principles and commonalities of success, everyone has to walk their own path and craft their own story. How you define success might not be how someone else does. That’s why he invites a highly varied group of experts who have succeeded in many different avenues. On the show, he's interviewed CEOs, millionaires, high-level entrepreneurs, bestselling authors, dynamic thoughts leaders, transformation experts and elite level athletes.
In this podcast, we're talking about public speaking and making great first and lasting impressions, even as an introvert. We'll dissect three keys to boosting your speaking acumen, and building the confidence you need to have an impact.
It never ceases to amaze me how brilliant people can opt not to pursue their big ideas because old lessons they've learned are so deeply ingrained. What a tragedy it is to watch someone give up before he or she even begins. Some poor lessons we learned as early as childhood can still haunt us today.
Even in my own business and personal life, I wrestle against lessons I have gleaned from past experience, my parents, friends, teachers, and the media. It's made me realize that more often than not, the biggest obstacle to you having the life or business or love –or whatever– you want actually lives between your ears. That space where your mind is... yeah, that's where old, outdated, frivolous lessons are making rules you're afraid to break.
And you are suffering for it.
Whether you want to launch a business, chase an idea, fall in love, take a risk, or stand up and declare you're worth more than whatever is keeping you stuck, there are lessons you need to unlearn.
In this podcast, I want to introduce you to 7 lessons you need to unlearn right now to start creating the life you want. I offer this disclaimer though: you may feel some resistance when trying to unlearn these. Push through it. You will be better for it, I promise.
I was recently having a conversation with a friend of mine about entrepreneurship and the changing landscape of business success these days, and I discovered a few coaching moments I want to share with you. He's an incredibly hard working guy and it shows in his business and brand. He is the first one in and last one out of the office seven days a week. He's created a culture of innovation, creativity, and hard work in his company.
And he's completely overwhelmed.
Success in small businesses comes in waves. The tide rolls out and you're left with a dry shoreline which makes it even harder to keep your ship afloat. Some days you feel like throwing in the towel, right? Then a big wave comes in and signals a rising tide. Everything rises, you switch gears and it all begins to fall into place. Prosperity again! The cycle continues indefinitely.
Too many entrepreneurs fail because they grow exhausted of the cycle and the overwhelm. Taking a few pages from the hundreds of books in my library, I want to share five keys to reducing your overwhelm and improving your success. Essentially, in this podcast I want to show you how to start a business that doesn't fail – or change your current business situation so it stops failing.
Gentlemen, this may sound counter-intuitive, but you need to stop being charge of everything in your life – If for no other reason than it's killing you. If it doesn't end up physically killing you, it will at the very least kill a metric ton of pleasure, enjoyment, and realized success. Sure, you may reach that goal you're shooting for, and do it your way, but you'll be too exhausted to recognize and appreciate the fruits of your labor. Control can kill.
What do you do about it?
Look, I'm a professional control freak. I've been in recovery for about 3 years now, but I still have episodes when I get my hands in everything and do it all myself. I take control and get stuff done (that's the good part), but I suffer for it later (that's the inevitable pitfall).
In this podcast / article, we'll explore four big reasons why control can kill, and four ways to cope and adjust so you keep moving toward your goal, whatever it happens to be.
Don Miguel Ruiz wrote The Four Agreements, and I'm sure you've no doubt read quotes from it and learned of these agreements from one source or another. Whether you read the book or not, I want to address each agreement from the gentleman's perspective, and a few extra pieces that can help really bring it home in a big way.
The basic four agreements are:
These are each sound pieces of advice on their own, but combined they lay the foundation for a man to be above the gossip and drama, but not above anyone – to be one that others look up to, while never looking down on them. Because this is such a powerful (and simple) exercise in making you better, I invite you into this crash course I affectionately call, "a gentleman's guide to the Four Agreements."
In this podcast, I'll take you through the agreements, how and where you can apply them in your quest to be the man you were born to be, and explore examples of how they can impact your life.
There are a myriad of outlets describing how to build your legacy these days, and yet we don't really care much for it until we start noticing our impact on the world. Sometimes that means our children, sometimes it means our coworkers, sometimes it's just our sudden realization that we're going to die someday and we worry how we'll be remembered. Whatever the catalyst, legacy becomes a buzz word for most men in their 30s, and only amplifies as the years pass.
The definition of legacy, however, is flawed. It is often referred to as what is left when someone dies. Now, Merriam-Webster defines it as something that is handed down or doled out in a person's will upon his or her passing – not necessarily incorrect, but its definition has certainly changed over the years. Legacy is most often referred to nowadays as the personal story, attitude, impact, and influence left when someone passes.
Let's take it a step further and modify this definition so it's not only more impactful, but more actionable for you in this moment.
Take a listen:
One of the most misused superpowers a man can have is the power to listen deeply. Millions of self-proclaimed "good listeners" are actually just listening well enough to keep a conversation going in his or her direction. Genuine listeners hear what isn't being said, connect more deeply with their partner, and create a pathway for creative collaboration and power.
This is incredibly important for any man trying to better himself and the world around him. Gentlemen, this is you (at least it should be). When you learn to genuinely listen at a deeper and more active level, you touch a place in those you communicate with and it allows doors to open to more – more feelings, more opportunities, more connections, and more fulfillment.
In this podcast, I'll introduce you to the different levels of listening and give you examples in each of them so you get a better understand of each and how you can move into deeper, more active levels immediately. Take a listen:
Today, we're talking about the 5 rules for getting fit for the rest of your life. These aren't necessarily the perfect food, nutrition plan, supplement, or exercise; rather, they're the 5 rules you need to follow if you want to achieve actual longterm success on your fitness journey.
Oscar and I were never huge or morbidly obese guys, but we both grew up with extra pudge. We also (especially me) noticed that we were working on quite an excellent Dad-Bod physique. This is no bueno. I'm not a dad, and I work very hard to prevent Dad Jeans in my client styling, so I shouldn't be skipping out on the fitness aspect and nurturing a Dad-Bod, right?
Exactly.
We explore our journeys to better fitness, our workouts, our nutrition, or motivation, and what keeps us on track to continue improving. You don't want to miss these 5 rules for getting in shape. Take a listen:
Today's podcast is about something you're all familiar with, but may not know exactly what the rules are in it: tipping. Gratuity – when should you, how much should you, what makes a good tip, why should you, etc. These questions roll around the heads of many men every day, and we're here to talk about what the rules are, and what to be aware of in the tipping world.
This is also a special show because I'm introducing my friend, and potential future podcast cohost, Oscar Guerrero to all of you. He's a stand up guy that has his own story of struggling to make sense of the world and how, after an anxiety attack in front of his CEO, he literally "got a grip" and started working to make himself and the people around him...better.
Today's show is about knowing the right time and amount to tip, but more importantly, it's about why you should be a good tipper in the first place.
I have an amazing show for you today. [remember to Subscribe Here] I’m joined by a man I can now call a friend, and one that makes our roles as men better because he’s here to help us make smart moves and go boldly into that good night.
My guest today is Ryan Michler of ORDER OF MAN. Through his site, podcast, and personal missions, Ryan is driven to take back what it means to be a man, and he wants us all to learn together – from the best men the world has to offer. From interviews like this one, to personal stories of struggle and success, everyone in the Order of Man takes with him a piece of the lessons to apply in his life.
He grew up without a permanent father figure in his life, missing out on some of the wholesome ‘fatherly” moments you might see on TV – playing catch, working on a car together, building a treehouse, etc.
He and I share the same sentiment that there is, in fact, a difference between being a male and being a man, and we’re both working to help make men better. As a father, he takes his commitments and agreements to heart, and works to build solid foundations and principles with and for his kids.
Ryan and I got the chance to meet and trade stories in person in mid-March at StyleCon 2016 in Atlanta, and I knew I wanted to share his wisdom with you, my listeners.
Definitely make your way to orderofman.com and discover more about his mission, his story, and his wisdom, including the Iron Council – a division dedicated to helping men develop deeper, more meaning full relationships with their spouses, families, and themselves. It’s about setting fire to the possibilities around you.
Okay, quick note on the audio here, guys. The first 2 minutes of audio is completely unusable so that’s why it’s missing. The internet can be a fickle beast sometimes and the audio was so choppy through Skype, it has to be thrown out.
Let’s open the interview by jumping right into Ryan’s story and his take on what he sees going on in society – and WHY he started Order of Man.
In the game of life, we are all seeking better performance. Whether that means better performance at our jobs, our relationships, our athletics, or in the bedroom, we want to be better – we need to be better. When it comes to actually achieving that better-ness, we often seek answers and solutions in the wrong direction. We chase external supplements, external validation, comparisons, and even approval from people beneath us. In our quest for better performance, we often discount ourselves for the validation from someone else. This is no good.
The secret to better performance in everything is actually pretty simple: it's a game of you vs. you.
Let's explore what this all means.
Entrepreneurs know the impact haters can have on their success, and more importantly, look for them as an indicator that they're on the right track. As an owner of several ventures, I'm always on the lookout for detractors and naysayers because they provide me with motivation that I can't get from my best cheerleaders. Strange as it may sound, someone looking at your ideas and telling you they're not possible or impractical or stupid or ridiculous or (fill in the blank) will often light a fire inside you to prove them wrong.
Rather than talk about what you need to do to make your haters happy, let's instead explore 7 ways your haters are important for your success. Take a listen:
There comes a time in every man's education when he reaches the conclusion that the happiness of those he loves is paramount to his own. It is at this moment that the realness of that man begins to blossom. He becomes more than he's ever been. He becomes a better listener, a better provider (for himself and others), and a driving force for greater, less trivial things.
Unfortunately, men often commit when they're in-love with lust, and in-lust with rom-com love – you know, the kind of love you see in the movies where everything is perfect and hilarious, you're happy, and you're both sexually magnificent. We all want that kind of life, right?
Real life relationships aren't always like that, but they don't have to be "hard work," contrary to what the talking heads on TV would have you believe. Here are 5 tips for improving your marriage – or any serious relationship for that matter.
This is near and dear to me because I know how to handle risk – risk is my copilot. I venture into what-ifs like they're going out of style. I wasn't always that way, and occasionally I'm not as bold or brazen as my brochure would have you believe. Most days I'm ready to take on the world and all its wonder, but because I'm still human, I will have "holy crap, what am I doing" days too. There's no quick fix for all types of risk aversion, but there are a few keys that make it so you know how to handle risk much more effectively.
Life is full of amazing moments and experiences, but we are called to take risks and put ourselves, and what we know about the world, on the line. It can be a huge struggle for a lot of people, but it doesn't have to be. There are a few keys to help you handle risk, and potentially, made it your copilot.